Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

Okay so me and my ex were seriously together for over two years. When we first met everything seemed to be going okay. I admit sometimes I acted like a child and gave in too much. I gave everything I had into this relationship, and so did she. But after over a year things seemed to change for my ex-gf. (Broke up with me once, shame on me) She started telling me how to run things, what to do (like I was a child), pressuring me to get her a promise/committment ring. I gave everything she wanted all the love and support, but at the same time, she didn't know what she wanted in life and didnt seem to return all the feelings. (Broke up with me twice, shame on her) During that last year she had denied me as a bf, while she was on a solo trip to Vegas, always begged for me to come over to her place when she knew I was working, tried to change who I was as a person. She is the type of person that argues a lot, and is afraid to get criticized when someone criticizes her. So I got tired one day, about 4 weeks ago, chewed her out a little bit for telling me how to run my life, left my car in tears. Before that I give her the option of breaking up w/ me. So then, two weeks later, she calls me up twice in one week, one for something different another day she needed help with something, in which I think she was setting me up for something and she says shes just checking on me. But I told her I couldnt help her since I was busy with a friend that day. So then a week later, my best friend tells me she has a new boyfriend, which we and our neighbors know this is a rebound bf. I have told her that I don't want any contact from her til she grows up. Sometimes, I feel this is my fault completely, and that I gave in too much throughout the last year, and for standing up to her like that on that very last day. And again, last night she called to check up on me and asked me if I was ready to be friends w/ her. This is the third time in four weeks that she has called to check up on me, and she kept saying to me she thought I was going to call her. I dont wanna be rude but I believe in not contacting her, but I'm the one that waits for her to call and like a DAMN FOOL I always pick up just to see what she wants, nothing more. And everytime I pick up the phone, I always keep it brief. First time she called after our breakup it was for something different. Second time that she called, I mentioned to her that I was in class and that I had a 'date' to prepare for. And she gave me a SURPRISED "Oh.....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just checking on you". Was that childish of me to do that, tell her what I'm doing? I realize it was, but I think I did it out of anger, even though I did have a date. Any opinions? Third time, she called called me in the afternoon while I was at work. And again, she said "Hey, what are you doing" (very softly). So I responded, "I'm busy right now, what do you want?". She says "I'm just checking on you, are you ready to be friends?". I didn't give her a straight yes or no answer. I may never give her a straight answer. Tell me if I'm wrong to do that. But anyways, if she does call again, I will just simply say "Listen, I'm busy" or "I've got company over, right now. MAYBE I'll talk to you l8r". That third time, she had asked if I'm ever going to call her, because she said "I thought YOU were going to call me when you are ready?" And this was only 4 weeks after she broke up with me. I'm not ready, but I feel that she is rushing me when she says that. Yes, I did tell her I may call her. Now when I said that and she may have waited, am I playing mind games with her or not? Because it seems like she may be expecting my call at anytime. Now my friend says that he saw on her myspace profile that she feels loved. I am assuming and know this is from her rebound boyfriend. Is that possible to feel love from a rebound boyfriend after only 4 weeks of her breaking up with me? And why would she be trying to call me three times within the last four weeks, just to simply check up on me while she had the nerve to ask if she wanted to be friends w/ me? If I don't contact her, for say maybe one or two more months, though she may try to call or email me, and I DON'T CALL HER or EMAIL HER. Even if she has a bf now, would the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?" in this situation with/and to a girl like this?

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

woooow i better get best answer for reading that whole thing....haha jk but i'm gonna do my best on this one---i think that you both have your differences and childish moments, but hers seem to be more deliberate and frequent. I think that you should get over her. you can probably do better, but be the bigger person if she does call you some more. Be polite, you can still be brief, and ask her how she is, and then tell her that you need to go but it was nice to talk to her. just act like she's a friend, because at this point, shes not your gf so theres no need to treat her like that, and be the bigger person by not treating her like an enemy. Maybe in a few month you can meet her for lunch (much less date-ish than dinner or a drink) and just catch up. 2 years is a long relationship to just stop cold turkey. hope this helps and good luck! also---getting back together rarely works, and you have to restart your healing process after being hurt again. i would highly reccomend just keeping your distance and staying busy.

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

I only read your subject line (that post is way too long and continuous sugar) but absence tends to make the heart grow fonder when both people really care about one another...otherwise it's often a case of "out of sight, out of mind"

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

OMG! TEXT!

I didn't read all that. But, I believe in the saying, "Out of sight, out of mind."

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

Won't make the heart grow fonder, but sounds like it will give the ears a rest.

Your problem stems from being married and not knowing about it.

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

First of all, that's too much to read. But in answer to your main question, it's possible, yes. Second, you mustn't forget why he did what he did, if you're going to remember what he did. If you must forget anything, it's what he did.

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

Wow, what a story! Just the fact that you took the time to type all of that detail out might mean you still have some feelings for her. Hmmm. She definitely still has some feelings for you, too.

But, when a man says he might call, the girl expects him to call. A man should not say he might/will call if he has no intentions to. We hate that!!!

So, even though you might still have some feelings there, I think it's best to let the whole thing rest for a while. Continue to live your life without her in it. She should do the same. After a LONG while, if it is meant to be then it will be. You will both grow as individuals and be happier for it. Good luck honey!!

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

I don't understand, what do you expect? Do you expect yourself to hate her? You spent over 2 years of your life with this person,...of course your going to miss her, that's natural, now amplify that with the fact that she is with someone else.

Do what makes you feel comfortable, at this point you don't owe her anything. You don't have to be her friend and in my opinion you really shouldn't, but if you are going to heal and move on from this properly you DO have to set boundaries.

Are you going to continue to allow this woman to butt into your life at any given moment?

Are you going to continue to allow her to call you 3-4 times in a day? and answer her calls?

You need to figure out what you want, and stick to it.

But anyways to anwser your question directly...yes absence can make the heart grow fonder, but in your case I think that her having a boyfriend is making your heart grow fonder, it's human nature to want what you think you can't have.

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

You seem to not play games or least choose not to be apart of someones game....

We unfortunately even as adults can, will ,and do show or perform childes acts when feeling confused going thru emotional struggles, it seems the way "YOU" explain or your side of the story seems as though you have came to believe she wants you when she has no one else. That happens but

we always run to the closests person we have, rather then run to a stranger for emotional comfort. Maybe you needed time, to figure out how you two really felt about each other, and whether or not you should continue this relationship.. Maybe not!..Its hard dealing or defining the two when feelings are involved with someone who claims to be serious but shows

most of all opposites. Tell me its not natural to fear you might lose what could of, should of , and wasn't ?

Automatically we want to control what is about to follow thru with, before it actually follows thru (if you know what I mean).

I wouldn't say your a DAM fool for answering more like being considered, you responded your busy.SO what? were you?

Did you feel it was better to think of yourself (like not hurting yourself)? Okay, you protected and prevented what was and could have been..GOOD!

I hate to ask in such ways (well, not really but) is she your mom to where she has to check up on you?..Can a simple hello how are ya doing type thing be better?

Even if she has a bf now, would the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Are we speaking in general because we are all different?

With me if a relationship was bad it gives me time to realize what I don't need. If it was good it helps me miss the hell out of them, I think (its never happened)...

in this situation with/and to a girl like this?

I would think (wait, I am thinking now) that since you have a date that you find reason to believe that your done with feeling like the bad guy...

I wouldn't treat this like a tragity rather a lesson and neither are you guys in the wrong, things don't always work by force..

Infact I don't think anything by force ever works....

Is that possible to feel love from a rebound boyfriend after only 4 weeks of her breaking up with me?

I wouldn't say love BUT, I would say more like a bandage over a soar (in the mean-time type thing)..Not always!

Was that childish of me to do that, tell her what I'm doing? I realize it was, but I think I did it out of anger, even though I did have a date. Any opinions?

Okay, so you could have told her this to shove it in her face a little YOU'D be abnormal if you were that normal..hey, sh-it happens (accept it)..I think you wanted to make it clear that your not playing games and this is a choice not a game...

Now when I said that and she may have waited, am I playing mind games with her or not?

Yes...be honest...the thing with honesty is that you can't argue with truth...

PEACE OUT

Would absence truly make the heart grow fonder, despite what my ex has done to me in the past?

Why not try the girl "BE CRUEL" who answered ur qn... i think she is ur type.....u can write essays to each other even when u r far away...that way u'll grow fonder even in ur absences

dude forget ur qn, even the topic is too long...